It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
