i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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