Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
