He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
