Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
