is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
