i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
