The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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