dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
