smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
