i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
