she peed on how many people?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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