JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
