I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
