That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
