So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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