I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
