Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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