how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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