Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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