Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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