Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize