My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Terrible idea I love it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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