Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
