Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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