This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
