Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
