HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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