I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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