So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
