dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
