i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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