just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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