he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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