I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
