yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
