just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
