Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
