im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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