Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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