The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
only you would photoshop your dick
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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