she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
