Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
