Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
