Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i've created a new STD.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
