she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
