so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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