I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
