so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
