I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
