he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
