I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
