Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
